In light of the whirlwind that is Shave-Gate, we trawl through the Arctic Monkey’s plethora of layouts from across the years and also rank each of Alex Turner’s iconic getups.

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We woke approximately a considerably different people this particular day. As we below in the UK slept (terribly, bereason of the heatwave, obviously), Alex Turner was mirroring America the latest in a collection of looks he’s trying out in the ‘Tranquility Base Hotel & Casino’ era. This, though, dear reader, could be the most shocking of the lot.

The 15 year-old bumfluff of the pre-album goatee is gone - as we recognize - and now so are Alex’s luscious locks: he’s only gone and bloody shaved his head. It comes as the latest in an long, fascinating line of fashion decisions from Our Al throughout the years. From the mop he sported as a young whippersnapper in 2006 - well known to eincredibly teenage boy who’d heard ten seconds of ‘Is This It’ - to a frankly terrifying attempt at becoming a weedy, beardy UFC fighter through the shaggy mane of the ‘Humbug’ era and also that time he used a tub of hair gel a day on the ‘AM’ tour, the fashion development of Alex Turner has been a rollercoaster, and also we’ve all been dragged along for the ride, anticipating what he’ll come up through next.

The latest look might indeed be a disaster, but there have been some absolute gems along the method. Here they all are, ranked.


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A shaved head is a bad look for Alex, as we now painfully recognize, but somehow (somehow!) he’s plunged greater depths than this before. The year was 2017, Arctic Monsecrets had been in the wilderness for a variety of years (though we were all obviously still playing ‘AM’ on repeat on a daily basis), and also tright here was still no sign of album 6. And then, Alex pokes his head over the surface! In a boxing ring?! With THAT BEARD?!?!

A year on from the event, we’re still coming to terms with what’s going on below. Alex settled in his new residence of Los Angeles, and rather of functioning on what came to be ‘Tranquility Base Hotel & Casino’, he hit the gym and also started functioning on those abs and weapons, which never before really existed and still don’t. Give the people the scrawny indie crush they deserve Alex! This isn’t you! The beard made it through (till extremely freshly, at least) however it appears he’s left the workouts behind for lavish weekends in the hotel and casino, and also we are truly thankful. Let’s never before soptimal of this again.

Verdict: Get in the bin via this look, Al.


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And so right here we are at the present day. It’s a good task Alex arised through that abomination of a beard last year, or this would sit firmly at the base of our list. The performance of ‘The Ultracheese’ on Colbert is brilliant, there’s no denying, yet we’ve had trouble concentrating on the rendition of smooth-as-silk ‘Tranquility Base Hotel & Casino’ closer. We’ve been too busy trying to figure out That Bloody Hair.

He kinda looks favor Bono. He’s ripe for a ‘Remember Eleven from Stranger Things? Here she is now. Feel old yet?’ meme. He’s reduced off the ideal luscious locks of his career. We’re going to take a long old time really reasoning around this one, and also will obtain ago to you with a much less emotional assessment. Maybe.

Verdict: We know mate, it’s a mistake.


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Ah the heady days. You’re in your teenagers, and also you hear ‘Is This It’ for the first time, and your totality people is blvery own wide open. Regrettably, along with the expocertain to a music scene that will certainly define your youth, the haircut more often than not comes with it. Alex, pictured here as the band played a large slot at Reading 2006, really doubled dvery own on the Mid Noughties Mop.

Evolving from the pretty rudimentary brief back and sides we observed when the band emerged as young rapscallions the year prior to, this noted the first phase in the advancement - and also the rollercoaster - that is Alex Turner’s hairstyle. To be honest, we can’t blame Alex for this specific cut - it’s just part of growing up, after all - however it’s a pretty great one to look ago upon.

Verdict: Yes, you just wanted to be among The Strokes.


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4th album ‘Suck It And See’ saw Alex’s dip expedition right into becoming the brilliant sleazebag we understand and also love, and boy did he go in all firearms blazing. The band’s KEXP radio session in 2011 shows it off best: all the boxes are ticked. Sunglasses inside? Yep. Leather jacket? Obviously. Greased ago hair? Danny Zuko levels.

If we"re being hoswarm, this look is exceptionally "Brit Goes To America Once And Finds His True Self", yet we admire just fairly just how convincingly Alex went pull felt in, melting a million hearts in the procedure. God loves a trier.

Verdict: The Hells Angels membership is pending.


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As with 2006’s mop and also The Strokes, a time comes in every teenager’s life once they initially hear those iconic opening notes of ‘Smells Like Teen Spirit’. It’s a developmental moment, and also for the majority of, the haircut comes through it. For Alex, it occurred in 2009, approximately the moment the band also headed to the Mojave Desert through Queens Of The Stone Age’s Josh Homme to record 3rd album ‘Humbug’.

In hindsight, we’re thankful for this look, and think it stands the test of time. Mainly though, we’re simply exceptionally relieved that a male sporting the 2006 Mop didn’t sing us the line “My propeller won’t spin, and also I can’t acquire it began on my own,” as that might’ve just been the finish of the love affair appropriate there and then.

A separate statement of many thanks must be given to Matt Helders, who sporting activities a frankly astonishing moustache and also sunglasses combo behind the drum kit as soon as they played ‘Cornerstone’ on US telly. We’re almost sad it’s gone, to be perfectly hocolony with you, but what a three and also a half minutes we invested together.

Verdict: Let it all hang down, pal.


With 2013’s ‘AM’, Arctic Monsecrets reverted with a beefed up, arena-ready sound, and Alex fashioned himself accordingly. The leather jackets and also sunnies ended up being slightly less garish (though someexactly how the hair gel usage inconceivably went up) and also he truly came to be among the world’s greatest frontmales.

Only a man dressed and styled choose that can make a halittle bit of dedicating the start of ‘I Bet You Look Good On The Dancefloor’ to all the “LAAAAAADIEEEEESSS” in the audience at eincredibly present on the ‘AM’ tour, and also we loved every second of it.

Verdict: ‘R U Mine?’. Oh we wish.


After the sheer nightmare that was Beard-Gate - remember earlier to No. 8 in our list if you dare - we were slightly worried that an indie dreamboat-worthy Alex would ever return to us. The initially promo photos of the ‘Tranquility Base Hotel & Casino’ era still witnessed the beard holding out, but one wonderful night, he emerged out on stage through all the confront fluff gone. The Real Alex Turner Stood Up (literally, as he does routinely from behind his piano at the finish of a brilliantly sleazy, practically pantomime set opener ‘Four Out Of Five’) and the cycle was finish.

The look balances eincredibly element of his advancement perfectly. It’s Turner Beta. That little bit flick of hair that drops onto his challenge. The absurd but brilliant rose-tinted sunglasses he wears while squinting out right into a Polish field at 1am. It’s the pinnacle, which makes the head shave all the even more painful to take. Let’s simply hope he sees feeling and stays amethod from the razor in future.

Verdict: so blessed. so relocated. so grateful. cant think this is my life. never before going to take it for granted. always going to provide ago. give thanks to you.


Records & Merch

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Live At The Royal Albert Hall CD

£12

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Double LP / CD BundleHeavyweight Babsence Vinyl20 TracksGatefold Sleeve

£35

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Ltd Double LP / CD BundleHeavyweight Clear Vinyl20 TracksGatefold SleeveExclusive A2 Poster

£40


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