Some clever before editing briefly throws the outcome into doubt, yet in the finish justice—together with great game play—prevails.

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I was this close to writing the complying with to kick off my Survivor finale recap: ARE YOU F&¢%ING KIDDING ME?!?!

It’s a rhetorical question, of course. And a rather crude one too. But as Jeffrey Probst ceded the votes from Nicaragua to Los Angeles—neither by jet ski nor by skydiving, I could add—I had to wonder: Divine crap, is this jury going to actually vote Jaclyn as the winner of Survivor: San Juan del Sur. Is that seriously around to happen? Do these human being honestly think that Jaclyn played a much better game than Natalie, that made big relocate after significant move?

There was no way, right? Okay, we she would acquire Jon’s vote. If she didn’t get his, then that five-hour silent therapy before that one Tribal Council can end up extending to a lifetime. Jon’s vote—fine. That’s one. But what the hell is Reed doing voting for her?!? Reed knows this game. He’s a vast fan. He as well tried to make massive moves. How in the name of the Medallion of Power can he actually vote for Jaclyn as the most deserving player? When they confirmed that vote from Reed I almost spit my Milwaukee’s Best halfway across the room. And then disaster scenarios began dancing in my head. Well, if Reed voted for Jaclyn to win, then his boyfrifinish Josh might execute the exact same. Now Jaclyn is at 3 votes. And what about those knuckleheads Keith, Wes, and also Alec? They are even more cluemuch less than Alicia Silverrock, so that knows exactly how they’ll vote? For all we recognize they may vote for freakin’ John Rocker to win! But if they don’t, they just as quickly might vote for Jaclyn. NOW WE’RE AT 6 VOTES! HOLY TYLER PERRY IDOL, JACLYN IS GOING TO WIN!!! This season’s one conserving grace of a Natalie victory is about to be ripped away from us!

But it was all a ruse, as I hoped it would certainly be. I am kind of guessing Reed just voted for Jaclyn to give her second place money over Missy. (Vytas did the same point for Monica in the last Blood vs. Water.) In any event, Natalie indeed did take her rightful place as winner. Truthfully, once they kept cutting to Jon’s smiling face on the jury as the votes were being cast, I figured it was a pump-fake, but you just never before understand. And that Reed vote truly did throw me. I’m not composing all this to hate on Jaclyn, but tright here was no doubt that played the bigger game. It was Natalie, all the means. Even when her moves were questionable—and also I still go back and also forth on Natalie’s play to oust Baylor, bereason going to the end through Baylor and also her mother appears favor sort of a dream scenario, even if it would certainly strengthen their argument that they played the ideal by acquiring both of them to the end—Natalie was always playing, constantly thinking ahead, always taking dangers. That’s the type of game that have to be roccupychristmas.orgarded. And, thanktotally, it was. Had it not been—total disaster. As in Amber Brkich/Natalie White disaster. The various other exciting point about the last Tribal Council is that…

…We now interrupt your on a regular basis booked Survivor recap to bring you live coverage of the current WSA meeting, currently in progress…

Okay, looks choose everybody’s below. I think we have the right to start. Welcome, everyone, to one more meeting of WSA, or Wicked Stepmothers Anonymous—although we’ve enabled for to carry a section of this meeting live, so not so anonymous anymore, it would seem. Anyhoo, I’d choose to say thanks to The Evil Queen for bringing tonight’s pastries. They truly are the fairemainder pastries in all the land. No doubt about that! Hey, watch out for those apples though, am I right? Anyone? Magic Mirror? Sneezy Dwarf? Anyone? Just a small scullery massist humor for you tright here. Okay, let’s see, I believe this week it is Lady Tremaine’s turn to kick points off. Tremaine?

“Yes, well, it’s around time! As she mentioned, my name is Lady Tremaine. And I am a Wicked Stepmom.”

“Although really, ladies, what’s so wicked around locking your stepdaughter up in the attic? After all, that bit hussy was off dancing via strange males and also hanging out with talking mice. Of all the nerve! Okay, so, technically yes, I tripped the royal footmale with the glass slipper, but honestly, ladies—WHO HASN’T? Anymethod, Anastasia and also Drizella believed it was perfectly acceptable. I mean, it’s not like I poisoned anyone. . That’s all.”

Thank you, Lady Tremaine. Okay, looks choose Queen Narissa is following.

“Ugh. Fine. Queen Narissa’s the name.”

Hi, Narissa.

“And I’m sorry, yet I don’t buy this Wicked Stepmom crap. I mean, yes, I might have morphed into a dragon and intimidated to burn dvery own all of York City. Fine, allude granted. But hellooooooo, are we all ignoring the reality that if it hadn’t been for me, my stepson Prince Edward would certainly have married that animated floozy Giselle? Then he never before would certainly have met and also fallen in love via his true heart mate, Adele Dazeem? And Giselle never before would have shacked up via the pizza shipment man from Loverboy either. Now they’re all happy, and also why? Since of me! Narissa—out!

Um, thank you Narissa. Well, women we have a member joining us today. She pertains to us by means of her sponsor, Baroness Von Schrader. Her name is Missy. She comes right from Nicaragua, and she’d like to say a couple of words.

“Yeah, hi. So, prefer the lady said, I’m Missy.”

“Er…not for nopoint yet I did notice there are not many males around. No substantial deal, of course, however, you know, I haven’t married someone in a couple of months, so, you know… running a little bit behind quota, if you capture my drift.”

“Yeah, so, anyway… execute you all have some rice I have the right to prepare and give to my daughter Baylor? That would be great. You can simply hand also it almost everywhere to me and also I’ll take treatment of it. Rationing is my solid suit.”

…and also so that is my story of just how I beat Wes in a chicken nugobtain eating challenge. Anyway, wbelow were we? Oh, right. It’s time to take it from the top of the episode. Here is it, our last Survivor recap of the season. I don’t require no stinkin’ crutches. Let’s do this thing!

After a live welcome from Jeff Probst to kick off the proceedings, we acquire a Cliffs Notes-esque look earlier at the seakid so much. Mostly we are treated to scenes that encapsulate the seaboy so far and also how we acquired dvery own to the final five before us. I say “mostly” bereason shelp montage likoccupychristmas.orgise includes the somoccupychristmas.orghat random moment of Wes interrogating Probst about being naked on Two and also a Half Men. Whenever before I look at Wes I am reminded of what the Oracle said upon meeting Neo in The Matrix: “Not also bright, though.”

After both testimonial and also, we park our time-travelling DeLoreon and also gain down to organization in the current on night 35 (which is, to say, the past again, because this actually took area back in June, yet whatevs). I would certainly wax more poetic about the intricacies of the space-time continuum, however look! Natalie and also Jaclyn are yelling at each various other. Well, Jaclyn is doing all the yelling because Natalie shelp that Jon was not “loyal to a fault.” Much conflict and also discussion ensues as they parse the “in game” and also “out of game” facets of Jon’s character in a nonsensical conversation that transforms into a fancy contemporary variation of “Who’s on First?”

Ala lot of as confmaking use of is the dispute between Missy and also Baylor the next morning about whether their goal was to win or to make the last three. Unless one of them is implying that they have to put a vote on the jury so that they additionally don’t have to concern around a feasible split vote should they make it to the end—and they provide no such indication to that effect—then I have actually no concept what they are talking about. But we have actually about 3,712 difficulties and Tribal Councils to obtain to, so let’s acquire a move on.

The first difficulty is not for immunity but rather that thing they execute wright here they make it a roccupychristmas.orgard obstacle wbelow you win an benefit for the following immunity difficulty. To win, the players have to untangle a rope they are attached to and then run to assemble a bridge and tear down blocks through sand bags. The whole “win an advantage in the next challenge” is somepoint I have actually absolutely hated in the past, however it will certainly shock longtime readers (not to point out Jeff Probst) when they discover out best now that I hate it a little little less right here, and I’ll tell you why. My biggest beef through this when it was done in the past is that the final challenge need to be totally 100% on the level. It is obviously the many important challenge of the seaboy, and also if you are gong to win yourself into the finals, you must need to perform it without an advantage. That means when you walk into that last Tribal Council you deserve to look at the jury and be all “Yeah, I did this.” When you have not been playing on a level playing area, yet, then it is substantially much less superior. I understand also every one of this holds true for the penultimate challenge also, yet I don’t treatment. It’s just various. So offering the advantage on the next-to-last difficulty as opposed to the last one is an advancement.

The other point I desire in an advantage is an benefit that does not sindicate offer someone the challenge. When Cochran bought his benefit at the Caramoan food auction for $340, he shown to me later that it basically made the immunity challenge that complied with no contest—tright here was no means he can shed on an obstacle of holding a knotted rope carrying a 3rd of your body weight bereason his benefit of relocating his hand up 2 knots over everyone else whenever he wanted essentially made him an automatic winner. That’s no excellent. (Cochran then won another advantage for the last immunity and yes, won that one, too.) I bring up all these instances of it being basically impossible for civilization with advantages to shed simply to make my boy Malcolm that much more depressed for blowing it via an advantage in the last Philippines difficulty. Poor Malcolm. He can go drvery own his sorrows at Eddie’s dog bar.)

This time, by winning the roccupychristmas.orgard, Keith’s benefit is not a head begin or perform over in the following challenge, but rather the opportunity to exercise it all day in breakthrough. Philosophically, I have actually gained to the area where I look at these roccupychristmas.orgard/advantage/immunity combo platters as two-component contests. Essentially, the roccupychristmas.orgard portion is simply the initially phase of the immunity challenge. You win it, you earn some aid in the second component. I gain it. And I’m not totally opposed to that. But once that “help” makes the entire second difficulty obsolete, then yes, I have actually a trouble. And unfortunately, that’s specifically what happens. Don’t think me? Just listen to Keith. “This is a large advantage—think me,” he says. See! I perform believe you, Keith! And I particularly think him after he finishes gaining all three of his balls create start to finish before any type of of the various other players—including Missy, that is trying it busted ankle and all—gain a single one via. (Side note: For an obstacle entailing balls, and Survivor has actually had actually a lot of balls this season—ZING!—the play-by-play commentary was unfortunately doing not have in double entendres. The best we got was more than likely Probst’s declaration of “Keith functioning that second ball,” and also that’s simply more confusing than anypoint else. Although Natalie did somoccupychristmas.orghat save us by mentioning after that “you’re excellent via balls, Keith.”)

So Keith wins his 3rd individual immunity and also at this suggest you’re kinda starting to think: Could this dude that has no earthly idea just how to play this game actually win the damn thing? And then you most likely find yourself spitting on the living floor because, what the hell—if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em, right?

Now things gain really exciting because it would certainly seem that Jaclyn is on her means out. And why not? Keith has actually immunity. Natalie has an idol, and also going to the finish with a mommy/daughter pair that is not well preferred on the jury can result in a split vote instance (if anybody would also bother voting for them) that would certainly seem to be a suitable case. So that leaves Jaclyn. Jon’s girlfrifinish promises Natalie that she won’t vote her out following if the Twinnie keeps her roughly. So what carry out you carry out if you’re Natalie? Do you remain the course, or execute you do put one more big relocate on your résumé and also not offer Missy/Baylor the opportunity to strengthen their debate that they were so great that they both made it to the end?

If I’m Natalie, I remain put. The jury’s dischoose for Missy/Baylor provides that a straightforward win. Why mess via that? Jeff Probst always claims that big moves win games, however they deserve to lose them too, and also this is a riskies play to trust Jaclyn (that was simply yelling and also cursing at Natalie two days prior). And all is revealed at Tribal Council in front of the best saconsumption party this side of Hormel (which is to say, the all-male jury). After the voting, Probst announces that it is the last chance to use a covert immunity idol, so Natalie walks hers over to the Hostgrasp General. “I was going to play this for myself tonight,” she announces, “but I believed it would be even more fun to play it for someone else. Jaclyn, did you vote for who I told you to vote for?’

When Jaclyn nods yes, Natalie plays it for her. BAM! A smart move? Maybe. Maybe not. But as a vioccupychristmas.orger, who cares? It’s yet one more example of Natalie breathing life into this moribund seachild. “I’m going house,” says Missy. But no, it is Baylor who is sent to the jury after Jaclyn’s 3 votes are nullified, thereby ensuring that everyone’s nightmare last 3 of Missy-Baylor-Jaclyn will not concerned fruition. Seriously, I would certainly rather a last 3 made up of Dreamz (Fiji), Mick (Samoa), and Natalie (Redemption Island) than that trio.

After Missy and Natalie hug it out, we head earlier to our final immunity difficulty, which attributes a repurposed version of that huge tower we experienced in the exceptionally initially difficulty. This time, the players need to race dvery own a gigantic tower (via pole, rope, and also slide) and then go via a bunch of obstacles collecting puzzle pieces. Eventually 5 puzzle bags need to be lugged up 57 steps to then complete a logo puzzle that will reveal three numbers needed to deal with a combination lock. First perchild to obtain the numbers and raise the flag wins. It’s a huge and also epic challenge to be sure—superior in dimension, scale, and scope. However before, I can’t help but miss out on the gold old-fashioned endurance obstacle at the finish. I write this eexceptionally single season, however give me the elegant simplicity of seeing that can touch a pole the longest (Borneo), or organize coins while in a painful pose (Thailand), or stand also on a stump while holding a wacky heresolve up in the air (Amazon), or bob on a buoy (Palau). What those final obstacles lacked in spectacle, they consisted of for in suspense. But hey, probably that’s just me.

One of the excellent things around these multi-stage obstacles, however, is that they always invariably seem to bring about a huge comeago. And indeed, Natalie and Keith enter the puzzle portion with a large lead on Jaclyn, that is too worn down to even race up the stairs and also as well exhausted to also open up her bags. (Missy doesn’t also bother contending.) Yet that gets the puzzle done first? Yep, Jaclyn. And after wiping out on the fireman’s pole, she soldiers on, gets her numbers, and wins the damn thing. Unbelievable. Hey, gotta give credit wbelow credit is due. She was out of it. She didn’t give up. And it passist off with her first (and also last, I guess) individual win of the seachild.

But I can’t concentprice on her victory because I am too obsessed with the hilarious reactions from the losers. Suddenly magically freed from the crippling pain of her busted foot, Missy runs over and exuberantly hugs the winner. Not to be outdone, Natalie busts out a smile as wide as Wes at a gas-passing contest—also running over and also enthusiastically embracing Jaclyn. These over-the-height reactions remind me of pageant queens that need to stand also there on stage looking positively delighted that they have simply been told on national television that they are neither as pretty nor as talented nor as charismatic as someone else who was simply handed a bouquet and had a crown awkwardly put on her head. The just person not bothering to fake it till they make it is Keith. Presumably he’s also busy spitting somoccupychristmas.orghere.

Tbelow is several talk later on at camp about the possibility of all 3 non-immunity holders going house so it’s left to Tribal Council #2 to find out. But somepoint is terribly amiss: What’s this? An actual womale in the jury? Holy moly! Equal rights, finally! Start burning those bras, ladies! The last bastion of all-maledom has actually finally been breached! (Of course, this is one exclusive club that the women—and also one continuing to be man—left in the game have no desire of joining.)

Once Tribal starts, Probst puts world on the spot by trying to trick the players right into saying why the others have to be voted out. It doesn’t really occupational as Natalie and also Keith simply sort of lamely compliment each various other. Natalie just briefly trips up when Probst asks her if she can win this game—providing a waaaaaay too competent and also direct answer when she should simply be deflecting and saying somepoint innocuous like, “Well, you never recognize via a jury. Hard to say, Jeff.” Instead she responds that “I can win this game” and also proceeds to tell the human being that are about to decide whether to save her specifically how and also why. ABORT! ABORT! But she keeps on going around just how she kicked ass in challenges and made risky decisions. Here she is spooling out her whole final Tribal plea. Only it’s not the last Tribal!!! It’s the type of thing that makes you scrape your head, or, if you’re Alec, sit tbelow via your mouth wide open up for an extensive duration of time.

Miraculously, it does not cost her as Keith is voted out, and it takes him roughly 1.7 seconds to spit after leaving Tribal. I swear, if they ever chose to remake The Naked Gun, they need to have actually Keith play eincredibly single basesphere player and also eexceptionally single baseround player’s wife in the inrenowned spitting montage. “It was 3 women,” Keith says of his last day on the island also. “I have the right to badepend manage one womale at the home much less 3 of ‘em right here.” Well, you certainly don’t need to worry about that on the jury, buddy.

We’re going to make choose a huguy DVR and also fast-forward through the final 3 breakquick feastern once the finalists tell us how awesome they were in overcoming adversity and also gain right to the final Tribal Council. At this point a Natalie win seems inescapable, yet you never recognize. Crazier points have actually taken place, choose the time…HOLY HELL WHAT IS GOING ON WITH KEITH AND THAT SHIRT?!? It looks favor Tommy Bahama simply ate a blue palm tree and also regurgitated it anywhere Keith’s chest. Wow. Too bad that jury shirt is 10 times bolder than anypoint Keith actually did in the game.

Missy renders a curious decision by telling the jury that the decision on their hands is “most likely as massive as a jury on a murder trial bereason what you decide tonight is gonna impact the remainder of my life.” Okay, I’m simply gonna go out on a limb below and also say that a Survivor jury is not as huge as a murder trial jury. You recognize, Survivor is awesome in around 512 different ways, but it’s not about life and fatality. Instead it’s about crutches made to look like tree branches and—as soon as upon a time—a area through a huge gong and also trunk complete of cash wright here civilization went for therapy sessions before voting each other out. Apparently Alec is perplexed by the totality murder trial point also bereason his mouth is wide open again. Either that or he is just one of those dudes that sleeps through his eyes open.

But Missy attempting to revolve the Survivor finale into a podcast episode of Serial is not also the weirdest thing around her opening remarks. That would certainly be the fact that the huge suggest she keeps hammering home is her trustworthiness. “My deal was loyalty,” she states. And she later on finishes by proclaiming that she played through “integrity, dignity, and also largely loyalty.” Lady, I don’t treatment that you turned your earlier on Jeremy and then later turned your ago on Jon. That’s fine by me. But then don’t go right into final Tribal making loyalty your calling card. That’s just disastrous game management. You would certainly have actually been much better off telling everyone your whole goal was to be the most wicked stepmother in the background of wicked stepmothers.

Jaclyn does the classical move from someone at the finish that basically made no big moves worth talking about and cannot offer any substantive factor why anyone must vote for them—she just goes on around how she was underapproximated and turned an adverse to a positive. But what else is she going to say? She talks around being diagnosed via MRKH once she was 15, even though that has actually absolutely nothing to perform with the game she just played out there. I don’t blame her. If you have nothing else, go for the sympathy votes. People shouldn’t be lame enough to let somepoint choose that affect their votes—however it’s worth a swarm.

I really choose Natalie’s opening remarks a lot. Instead of apologizing for backstabbing world, she is owning it. “I feel prefer I deserve your votes tonight,” she claims, “and feel prefer I deserve the title of Sole Survivor. I feel prefer I have actually outwit, outplayed, and also outlasted much better than the two ladies sitting beside me.” She then goes on to outline every one of her moves, makes a allude of talking about exactly how she made all those moves all by herself (unfavor Missy and Jaclyn, who had actually their loved ones), and also reminding folks how she also worked difficult about camp. And then she finishes by deftly mentioning Missy and Jaclyn’s lack of strategic chops: “I feel honestly favor the best person to go home last night must have actually been me, not Keith, if they had made the ideal decision.” Sorry, but that is a damn excellent opening statement. She touched all the bases and made it clear that if you are actually going to vote on who played the ideal game—the alternative is clear.

Then it is the jury’s revolve to sheight. Let’s also jam via these one-by-one, founding via Captain America. And a warning in breakthrough, the majority of the questions/statements are tremendously lame.

Jon does what any kind of excellent boyfriend should do: He tees up his girlfriend to brag to the jury. “I desire to provide you the possibility to present a large move or decision that you were exclusively responsible for making and how did it affect the final 3,” he says to Jaclyn. His predisposition and also intentions are painfully clear, but what did you suppose that man to do? However, from a vioccupychristmas.orger’s perspective, it’s simply sort of a waste.

“Nat, exactly how does it feel that the last words you ever before spoke to me was a lie? How does that make you feel?” Oh, Keith, acquire over yourself. You lied about Jeremy having actually an idol that you had actually yourself. And that cares that the last words she spoke to you were a lie? In instance you hadn’t noticed… IT’S SURVIVOR!!!! Clearly on this guy is experiencing from a severe case of BJS (Bitter Jury Syndrome).

Alec uses his question solely to offer himself props by obtaining Natalie to say out loud that obtaining him out was her biggest relocate of the game. What Alec stops working to master, but, is that the move had nothing to carry out through needing to get rid of him because he was such a great player. In reality, it was the specific oppowebsite. She wanted to store Keith bereason he was more able to beat Jon at challenges. Wow, these questions really do type of suck so far.

Another waste of air time. Baylor throws a girl-power shout out right into the mix (actually making use of the word “represent” at one point) and also then simply talks about how proud she is of her mom while super emotional music plays underneath. But again, what she is saying has nopoint to carry out via the outcome of the game. I guess I was supposed to be relocated by this—and also maybe I am simply a damaging person—however I wasn’t .

Josh appears to take a subtle dig at Jaclyn, asking her if she gained to the end “because of your very own merit or selections by better players is why you’re sitting there?” She claims merit. Okay.

Surprisingly, Wes’ question has nopoint to execute with farts, eating contests, or what various other CBS sitcoms Jeff Probst has showed up naked on. Unsurprisingly, Wes asks the worst question of the evening: “What was it favor gaining to play through your loved one?” C’MON! Are you serious? That’s the ideal you got! You’ve had actually well over a week to come up with your significant question, and also that’s all you can muster? Natalie didn’t even play via her loved one! Wes, you are infuriating on so many levels ideal now.

Jeremy supplies his time to make a plea to the jury to not be babies or idiots and instead vote for the best player, Natalie. We’ve this tactic supplied a number of times before going all the way earlier to seaboy 1 and also Sue Hawk’s infamed “rat and also the snake,” speech. David did the exact very same point on behalf of Boston Rob on Redemption Island. Kat on One World additionally pleaded with her fellow jurors to not vote out of spite. And simply last seakid Spencer passionately described to the jury why Tony was the just acceptable winner. On one hand, it’s a bit condescending for someone to tell everyone else why their opinions are wrong if they don’t complement yours. On the other, sometimes you need someone not blinded by petty rage to open up others’ eyes to what requirements to occur. If just Survivor: All-Stars had actually someone like that. (Side note: Alec’s mouth is wide open up again.)

So, as a whole, these “questions” were pretty disastrous and entirely drama free—not a surpincrease considering this actors. But the producers always conserve the firefunctions for the end of the display. Much like Jonathan Penner’s epic takedvery own on Philippines, I am constantly of 2 minds when it involves things prefer what Reed is around to say. On one hand also, it is petty and also the moment clearly invested preparing and rehearsing it in front of a mirror is a bit painful. On the various other hand also, if you are given one last chance to stop, you might too make the most of it. I intend, why wouldn’t you prepare? Also, as vioccupychristmas.orgers, we love the drama, and also that better to carry drama than a Broadmethod star? Anyhoo, below is Reed word-for-word dropping a nuclear bomb everywhere Missy, through her daughter sitting simply a couple of feet away:

“Missy, you cast yourself as the motherly figure. However before, fans of timeless literary fiction will through extremely conveniently to that your true character was, which is—the wicked stepmommy, really, of the people. It’s the eccentric woman that comes in and renders demands on everyone for the points to which she feels so entitled. She spoils her youngsters by probably giving them more rice at dinner and also the best places to sleep at night in the shelter. She takes points she’s either not entitled to or didn’t earn herself, which was always confirmed by the truth that you got more gimmes in this game than anyone, and performed the worst out of anyone at challenges. Lastly, you made the quintessential wicked stepmommy relocate by abusing the aid, which in this situation was the minority alliances in the game. You always made sure they felt inferior. You constantly maintained them in their place. You constantly made it imminently clear that they weren’t coming to the ball that is the Tribal Council this evening below via you. So that, to me, feels choose your fatal fregulation in your totality plan, bereason unchoose life, in the game of Survivor, the outcasts are the ones that get the last say. So in a sweeping minute of poetic justice, the civilization to which you were so rude and also disastrous to prior to relegating them to the jury via the help of your alliance are going to decide your fate this evening. This is why I love fairy tales, because they constantly have actually a happy finishing and the wicked stepmommy never wins.”

Judging by the concerns, it feels choose a Natalie runameans for the win. But then we that vote for Jaclyn from Reed—who simply moments previously had actually been telling Natalie exactly how a lot he loved watching her gameplay. All of a sudden, up is down! Babsence is white! Cats and also dog living together! Mass hysteria! Except not. Natalie takes the million dollars, which is an extremely satisfying conclusion to an otherwise unsatisfying Tribal Council. Look, San Juan del Sur will certainly definitely not go down as among the good Survivor periods of all-time, however at leastern we have the right to feel good about the winner. That’s certainly worth something in my book. Okay, let’s gain to some thoughts on what went dvery own at the reunion and also those various other assorted live look-ins we obtained in the time of the broadcast.

• The live look-ins were a little bit of a mixed bag. In theory, I favor acquiring them. Of course, the comparison in between what a Survivor eats and also what the average American eats in a day was borderline horrifying. I honestly don’t think I’ve ever before consumed that a lot in a single day in my life! That plate of spaghetti alone would certainly kill me. And, contrary to famous belief, my heart is not totally made of stone, so I preferred the little bit via the Make-a-Wish child Austin. I have to say from all my visits on set, the Survivor is so damn cool, and I’m sure they treated Austin like aristocracy once he went to. Getting a glimpse right into that was fun. The one live segment I might have actually done without, but, was the one via the random Joes and Janes talking all about “date night,” “girl power night,” and how one male “readjusted careers, readjusted boyfriends.” This told us absolutely nothing around the present, just how it’s put together, or the human being on it, so was pretty useless. I get what Probst is doing through this, though. He genuinely does appreciate the assistance from loyal and also longtime fans of the regimen, which is excellent. But wasting 3 minutes hearing from them? Not so excellent. (By the way, did Oliusing Feldguy complete her half a cup of rice yet?) On the flip side, Keith’s wedding photo? Amazing.

• As suspected, Probst evidenced with a hands vote that Keith would certainly have won had actually he gone to the finals instead of Natalie versus Missy and Natalie, obtaining 4 votes to Missy’s three and Jacyln’s one. How crazy would that have been? Keith did well in challenges and also did well sufficient socially—those are 2 of the three aspects of the game, so you have to provide him crmodify for that. But he would have actually definitely rivaled Fabio for the majority of clueless strategist ever before among all winners had he gone the distance.

• Probst made point out of just how John Rocker tried to befriend a gay male and a babsence guy on the display (in the wake of his previous racist and also homophobic comments). Look, I don’t understand Rocker. I talked to him a times, that’s it. But I perform understand this: People on the cast actually seem to prefer him a lot. Even folks like Jeremy and Natalie who went after him in the game have actually hung out through him given that filming wrapped. So take from that what you will.

• Is it simply me or was the reunion REALLY hefty on Reed. I suppose, I choose the guy well enough, however who believed he would certainly be the big go-to guy? Whether it was Reed talking about his faith, Reed’s reaction to Jon and also Jaclyn’s tiff, or Reed discussing his massive takedown of Missy, the dude was everywhere! It gained so ridiculous I was half expecting him to go steal that bad little bit girl’s rice and also start bragging about what collar he was. As for the Missy stuff, that was super icy and awkward, specifically once Missy revealed that she actually was a stepmom at one allude and when Reed refsupplied to apologize (“I stand also by what I shelp for within the game.”) for his brutal comments.

• I’m not certain if it was important to bring three “collars” up from the audience to stand also there awkwardly through microphones, however the good sign is that Probst is totally stoked for Survivor: Worlds Apart. We require a strong season after San Juan del Sur, and also Probst appears to think this could be one. Check out the intel he offered me around seachild 30 appropriate below.

See more: Drinking And Driving Poetry By Victims/Survivors Of Impaired Driving Crashes

Okay, females and gentleguys, I think that’s going to just about carry out it. Kind of a weird takeameans, I realize that. Bad season, pretty great finale, leading right into a pretty lame last Tribal Council, through a strong winner. So I don’t know what the hell to think. But I desire to thank you for when aacquire taking this journey via me. I’ve been doing these here recaps for even more than a decade currently, and your type words and also comments keep me going. So many thanks aobtain for reading and also playing alengthy.

And we’re gonna keep on playing! Not only execute I have actually that intel from Probst about season 30, however we likoccupychristmas.orgise have the Hostmaster General weighing in on the finale also. Plus, the whole last 5 will be calling right into Entertainment Weekly Radio on Thursday morning so we’ll obtain those intervioccupychristmas.orgs posted below on too. In the meantime, you deserve to examine out our pre-game intervioccupychristmas.orgs through them in the video player below, together with an exclusive deleted scene in the video player listed below. And I have one other one-of-a-kind tidbit I’m holding on to and will get out tright here on Friday. Of course, for year-round Survivor scoop, simply follow me on Twitter

Okay, 6,000 words later and also it’s finally your turn. Have at it on the message boards via your thoughts on the winner, the finale, the reunion, and everything in between. Thanks again, all. I’ll be back in February with your initially 2015 scoop of the crispy!

Episode Recaps


SURVIVOR: Island of the Idols


Strangers starve themselves on an island also for our amusement in the hopes of winning a million dollars, as host Jeff Probst looks at his feet while telling them to "COME ON IN, GUYS!"

type TV Show
seasons 40
network CBS
stream service